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Swagato
How
hard a thing is it to witness a good man's trust betrayed. Swagato is
one of the finer people I have ever had the pleasure to know, and his
recent ordeal infuriates me on many levels. Those who have betrayed his
trust, I wish to harm. That the cause of betrayal was for personal gain
is even more upsetting. That Swagato trusted his betrayer, who he even
called a "good man" for agreeing to keep confidential the conversation
that would eventually be leaked, only to be stabbed in the back, is
beyond words. The unwarranted mistreatment of Swagato in light of the
conversation which was to be kept in confidence is also appalling. Such
a slap in the face is the facade of remorse later displayed to me by
the said betrayer.
All of these things leave me in my current
state: that of anger. I am to the point where I can hardly organise my
thoughts, as is evident by the above paragraph. In my mind, it all
meshes as one. One act for which I wish to bring harm to those who have
wronged Swagato in an attempt to make up for the undeserved ordeal in
which he has been placed.
...I'll never understand why those of a good heart are intentionally done harm. | | |
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Sporadic Thoughts
A
list of sporadic thoughts (and/or quotes by which I stand
whole-heartedly), though some are related, thereby making them the
opposite of sporadic, but I just wanted to use that word.
1. There are only realists, and those too naive to see the truth.
2. Abe Lincoln was right in saying that we are as happy as we make our minds up to be.
3.
Pertaining to relationships, I am immune to being "hurt." What is done
is done. It is implausible to consider that you will never move on, or
that there is no one else for you. Most misinterpret this as the
inability to love, when no one is in the place to decide what
constitutes love.
4. No such thing as a "soul mate" exists. It
is possible to fall in love with many, many people if given the chance
and the right set of circumstances.
5. The mind controls all. Even those "uncontrolable" emotions.
6. Happiness is the ability to accept truth.
7.
If you tell yourself you want to do something more than anything, but
can not, you are lying to yourself. Nothing aside from a greater want
could stop you.
8. "We all need the security that belonging brings." - Joy Division
9. The best of people are those who endure the worst of lives.
10.
Too much stock is held in grades. True intelligence lies in ceaseless
thought along with contemplation of all that has come before you.
Ten is a fine number. Here shall I cease. Your thoughts?
Edit: I've decided to make some additions.
11. Fate is false.
12. Regret nothing from which a lesson has been learned.
I may think of more later. | | |
| I'm seriously going to burn out or snap soon.
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| Harry requested that I post my "hurricane story," but I don't feel like
typing it again, so I'm going to copy and paste it from the only
conversation I have had about it.
[03:08pm] <Caesar> SEMAJ!
[03:08pm] <Caesar> hilol
[03:08pm] <Caesar> ok
[03:08pm] <Caesar> tell me all about your hurricane experience
[03:08pm] <James> uhhh
[03:08pm] <James> well
[03:09pm] <James> we stayed at a shelter
[03:09pm] <James> which was actually an elementary school
[03:09pm] <James> so that's uncool all by itself
[03:09pm] <James> but I had my music with me
[03:09pm] <James> via cd player
[03:09pm] <James> and not my computer or other belongings
[03:09pm] <James> which were here in this closet next to me
[03:09pm] <James> but I went to bed early
[03:09pm] <James> the night before the storm
[03:09pm] <James> because there wasn't shit to do ya know
[03:09pm] <James> and I woke up the next morning
[03:09pm] <James> at about 6am
[03:10pm] <James> and they everyone else was awake
[03:10pm] <James> apparently we needed to be moved
[03:10pm] <James> because the roof on the building in which we were staying
[03:10pm] <James> was getting fucked
[03:10pm] <James> and the ceiling was leaking like crazy
[03:10pm] <James> so
[03:10pm] <James> they gathered us up
[03:10pm] <James> in little groups
[03:10pm] <James> and made us leave all of our belongings
[03:10pm] <James> and venture out in the middle of the storm
[03:10pm] <James> to run to another building
[03:10pm] <James> in 170mph winds
[03:11pm] <James> that could literally stop you in your tracks
[03:11pm] <James> but we got to the other building alright and all
[03:11pm] <James> and we were there with some other people that were already in that building
[03:11pm] <James> so it was packed
[03:11pm] <James> and hot
[03:11pm] <James> and it smelled like hell
[03:11pm] <James> and so after staying in that building for another half hour or so
[03:11pm] <James> it's roof gets assraped too
[03:11pm] <James> so we have to move AGAIN
[03:11pm] <James> but this time it was to the gym
[03:11pm] <James> so yeah it wasn't as crowded and shit
[03:12pm] <James> and after we moved there
[03:12pm] <James> they allowed one member from each family
[03:12pm] <James> to get recollect their belongings from the building that they were first staying in
[03:12pm] <James> naturally
[03:12pm] <James> since I was with my mother and grandmother
[03:12pm] <James> (my dad stayed here)
[03:12pm] <James> I had to go get all the shit
[03:12pm] <James> clothes
[03:12pm] <James> ice chests
[03:12pm] <James> blankets
[03:12pm] <James> an air matress
[03:12pm] <James> so that was good fun
[03:12pm] <James> and the wind was "nucking futs"
[03:12pm] <James> as you might have it
[03:13pm] <James> so when I was bringing the stuff back
[03:13pm] <James> it took like twice as long as it should
[03:13pm] <James> because the wind would actually push you backwards
[03:13pm] <James> so
[03:13pm] <James> the people that were working at the shelter started helping everyone
[03:13pm] <James> and then we finally got all of our shit
[03:13pm] <James> and everyone elses shit
[03:13pm] <James> into the gym
[03:14pm] <James> wasn't ideal
[03:14pm] <James> since like
[03:14pm] <James> there were over two hundred people in the gym
[03:14pm] <James> still kind of crowded
[03:14pm] <James> and smelly
[03:14pm] <James> and the bathrooms...
[03:14pm] <James> well I was at the shelter for two days
[03:14pm] <James> and didnt use the restroom once
[03:14pm] <James> but yeah
[03:14pm] <James> not much happened through the rest of that day
[03:15pm] <James> and so at night we all went to sleep
[03:15pm] <James> and it takes me forever to go to sleep
[03:15pm] <James> so I went to sleep early
[03:15pm] <James> before everyone else
[03:15pm] <James> and in the middle of the fucking night
[03:15pm] <James> some old crazy ass woman
[03:15pm] <James> starts fucking screaming
[03:15pm] <James> at the top of her lungs
[03:15pm] <James> calling for her mother to help her
[03:15pm] <James> or some shit
[03:15pm] <James> and she woke everyone up
[03:15pm] <James> so they wheeled her ass outside
[03:15pm] <James> (she was on a wheelchair)
[03:15pm] <James> and after that
[03:15pm] <James> we all went to go back to sleep
[03:16pm] <James> but as I said
[03:16pm] <James> it takes me a while
[03:16pm] <James> so before I can managed to get back to sleep
[03:16pm] <James> everyone starts fucking snoring
[03:16pm] <James> and nothing
[03:16pm] <James> nothing
[03:16pm] <James> drives me more insane
[03:16pm] <James> that someone snoring
[03:16pm] <James> than*
[03:16pm] <James> so I was annoyed to hell
[03:16pm] <James> and yeah
[03:16pm] <James> the next morning
[03:16pm] <James> my father showed up finally
[03:16pm] <James> (we didn't know where he was or what might have happened to him)
[03:16pm] <James> and took us back here
[03:16pm] <James> this place was in good condition
[03:17pm] <James> and we had running water
[03:17pm] <James> which is more than we could say for the uh
[03:17pm] <James> shelter
[03:17pm] <James> but of course we had no electricity
[03:17pm] <James> and it's summer time
[03:17pm] <James> or at least it was
[03:17pm] <James> so we were pretty hot and shit
[03:17pm] <James> and well
[03:17pm] <James> I could continue on like this
[03:17pm] <James> but I dont think I shall
[03:17pm] <James> I think this is a good stopping point
[03:17pm] <James> nothing else interesting happened
[03:17pm] <James> until I went to Gregs
[03:17pm] <James> for a few days
[03:18pm] <James> to help them with yard work
[03:18pm] <James> and eventaully got 20 bucks out of it
[03:18pm] <James> which isn't a lot
[03:18pm] <James> but I was doing it for free
[03:18pm] <James> so...
[03:18pm] <James> more than I expected
[03:18pm] <James> with which I bought a hair straightener
[03:18pm] <James> not that you care
[03:18pm] <James> but yeah
[03:18pm] <James> ok
[03:18pm] <James> Im done
[03:18pm] <James> say something.
[03:18pm] <James> oh and
[03:19pm] <James> we didn't get electricity until about two and a half weeks ago
[03:19pm] <James> maybe three
[03:19pm] <James> no tsure
[03:19pm] <James> but Dan
[03:19pm] <James> speak
[03:19pm] <Caesar> lol
yeah, that's about it. peace.
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